The Mattering Map

Rebecca Newberger Goldstein, The Mattering Instinct: how our deepest longing drives us and divides us

Happy aging

The 7 factors that most reliably predict happiness and health as we age are:

• Don't smoke
• Limit alcohol
• Eat well
• Exercise regularly
• Keep learning and stay mentally curious
• Have a practiced way to deal with suffering
• Love

Arthur Brooks
https://www.threads.com/@arthurcbrooks/post/DTq49UUElNg?xmt=AQF0LSQF0pZk6SVYuA1azex4cPeaoyp1ge5Ghj8azwu113qBM2KpMMZNL-UWDhqw7vxNMxCd&slof=1

Spotted at Parnassus

Just takes one.

A proposal

Ihave a proposal to make: 2026 should be the year that you spend more time doing what you want. The new year should be the moment we commit to dedicating more of our finite hours on the planet to things we genuinely, deeply enjoy doing – to the activities that seize our interest, and that make us feel vibrantly alive. This should be the year you stop trying so hard to turn yourself into a better person, and focus instead on actually leading a more absorbing life… Oliver Burkeman 

We’re #32

Americans like to boast that "we're No. 1." But a careful new study suggests that in quality of life, we rank No. 32. And we're slipping. This study should be a wake-up call. Nick Kristof

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/opinion/america-quality-of-life.html?unlocked_article_code

As Newsroom's Will McAvoy said…

Now or never

Ralph Waldo Emerson: there is no mythical future where you'll be a perfectly happy person; all we ever have is now...

"These roses under my window," Emerson writes in his 1841 essay, Self Reliance, "make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God to-day. There is no time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence...

"Before a leaf-bud has burst, its whole life acts; in the full-blown flower there is no more; in the leafless root there is no less. Its nature is satisfied, and it satisfies nature, in all moments alike.

"But man postpones, or remembers; he does not live in the present, but with a reverted eye laments the past, or, heedless of the riches that surround him, stands on tiptoe to foresee the future. He cannot be happy and strong until he too lives with nature in the present, above time."

https://www.threads.com/@philosophybreak/post/DTdUj9YDALS?xmt=AQF0pt6wi77Rylliq8_z5yWVQXtH5dtcpGjgtKL8Wl5tGhQ-yyQS7FfKTwdTiYlog6QCBQI&slof=1

Arthur Brooks’s 5 steps

Make a routine. Get physical. Get metaphysical. Live with your grandchildren. And never, ever go to a work dinner. Read all about the five small steps Arthur Brooks took to get happier.

https://www.thefp.com/p/arthur-brooks-five-steps-to-a-happy-life?link_source=ta_thread_link&taid=6967773de96061000177d381&utm_campaign=trueanthem&utm_medium=organic-social&utm_source=threads

“strange in-between creatures”

"Our inability to live entirely in the present (like most animals do), combined with our inability to see very far into the future, makes us strange in-between creatures, neither beast nor prophet. Our amazing intelligence seems to have outstripped our instinct for survival. We plunder the earth, hoping that accumulating material surplus will make up for the profound, unfathomable thing that we have lost."
— Arundhati Roy, Listening to Grasshoppers; Field Notes on Democracy, 2009

On the Transitory Nature of Happiness and Why It Doesn't Matter

https://open.substack.com/pub/rebeccanewbergergoldstein/p/on-the-transitory-nature-of-happiness?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=post%20viewer

Beyond happiness

The philosopher Rebecca Newberger Goldstein's latest book looks beyond happiness as the goal of a well-lived life.

https://www.theatlantic.com/books/2026/01/the-mattering-instinct-rebecca-newberger-goldstein-book-review/685536/?gift

Eat your ice cream, build your relationships…

And don't be a schmuck.

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/dr-ezekiel-emanuel-eat-ice-cream-and-other-tips-for-a-long-and-healthy-life/

Seek wisdom

"Let no one be slow to seek wisdom when he is young nor weary in the search thereof when he is grown old. For no age is too early or too late for the health of the soul."

— Epicurus, Letter to Menoeceus

Inside the world’s first happiness museum

https://www.bbc.com/reel/video/p0922rw5/inside-the-world-s-first-happiness-museum

Pluribus

Apparently this is a show about happiness. I haven't seen it.

"Why is Carol so unhappy? Well, first of all, she is created that way. Vince Gilligan deliberately set out to have a protagonist who is the "unhappiest person in the world". The brilliance is how he challenges many assumptions about happiness. People ask what made her unhappy, well here goes…"

https://www.threads.com/@calmrev/post/DTBrhjKEzgR?xmt=AQF0HE0LBvKf-gPTtxzD_lR2wgMSs4D0LRGqXodiKOHDkAby7odmJVxuFNQis2cVJLwSnjJE&slof=1

Happiness equals love

We're Living Through the Great Detachment

America is becoming more loveless: less dating, less marriage, less friendship, less patriotism. But love outside of self is what makes life meaningful.

"Happiness equals love — full stop." You don't have to commit to any single one of the attachments, even marriage, but if you want to flourish, you do have to prioritize loving attachments over individual autonomy, and over the past few generations, our culture has forgotten that core truth.

David Brooks

Happy in MN

Valerie Tiberius (University of Minnesota), a Central Division past president, discusses happiness and flourishing on MPR News. (audio) https://www.mprnews.org/episode/2025/12/17/what-does-it-really-mean-to-be-happy