Philosophy of (more) Happiness : I Love You, Now Leave Me Alone: What Friendship Means to an Introvert

Saturday, March 18, 2023

I Love You, Now Leave Me Alone: What Friendship Means to an Introvert

"…Every single person has the fundamental need for connection," said Kasley Killam, a social scientist and the founder and executive director of Social Health Labs, a nonprofit that works to create solutions for isolation and loneliness. "It's not like introverts don't need meaningful relationships. But what varies is how much and what kind of connection…

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/13/well/family/introverts-friendship.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
I Love You, Now Leave Me Alone: What Friendship Means to an Introvert

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RECOMMENDED TEXTS Fall '25-on 3-day reserve at Walker Library

View from above

"You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the Moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, "Look at that, you son of a bitch."—Edgar D. Mitchell, Apollo 14 astronaut, quoted in "Starry Messenger: Cosmic Perspectives on Civilization" by Neil deGrasse Tyson https://a.co/by8i9Dw

bio

The author of "William James's Springs of Delight: The Return to Life, (VU Press, 2001) " Phil Oliver specializes in the American philosophical tradition with supporting interests in applied ethics (particularly Bioethics and Environmental Ethics), Anglo-American literature, history, humanism, naturalism, science and exploration, peripatetic ("walking & talking") philosophy, baseball, cycling, swimming, the pursuit of happiness, and the perpetual dawn of day. One of his favorite MTSU courses is The Philosophy of Happiness. He is academic advisor for minors in American Culture (American Studies), and a founding board member and current President of the William James Society. You can follow him on Threads, Instagram (@OSOPHER), Mastodon (@osopher@c.im), Substack (philoliver.substack.com) and on his blogsite Up@dawn (jposopher.blogspot.com) but of course, as Immanuel Kant and Monty Python's Brian Cohen agreed: You don't have to follow anybody. "Sapere aude," have the courage to think for yourself. But not by yourself. Good philosophy collaborates and converses.

Penultimate happiness: "I can't stand it!"

To Henry Adams: ...Though the ultimate state of the universe may be its vital and psychical extinction, there is nothing in physics to interfere with the hypothesis that the PENultimate state might be the millennium-a state in which a minimum of difference of energy-level might have its exchanges so skillfully canalised that a maximum of happy and virtuous consciousness would be the only result. In short, the last expiring pulsation of the universe's life might be, "I AM SO HAPPY AND PERFECT THAT I CAN STAND IT NO LONGER!" William James, Letters June 1910 [he died in August]

Suffering and enjoyment, courage and wisdom

What is the balance between suffering and enjoyment in human existence? From the Buddha to Schopenhauer the answer is that the former far outweighs the latter. Reflection and experience together suggest that they have a point. Relationships can bring both suffering and its alleviations, but most relationships must anyway end in suffering – for in any pair of humans, one is likely to die first, or fall out of love and leave – and indeed, with the frailties of age and the decay brought by disease, with the loss of things valued (loved ones and old friends who pass away, capacities such as walking in the country one can no longer do) the typical human life ends in privations that, unless accepted with grace, courage and wisdom, are forms of suffering. To acquire the courage and wisdom needed to face them is to do philosophy, which is why the ancients said, ‘To learn to philosophise is to learn to die’. -A.C. Grayling

This is the true joy in life

…being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations. —George Bernard Shaw

Vote!

"The next election is going to be decided by people under 30, who have the most at stake, and they need to register to vote in order to make a difference. That’s the answer, simple democracy." -GK... Please visit TennVoterLookup if you would like to check your Tennessee registration status or check RockTheVote.org. TN residents can update or change their information on the TN Government's website. If you're currently registered in another county it may be easier for you to vote here. Register in Rutherford County: https://www.mtsu.edu/amerdem/register-to-vote.php

Ramble on

"Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)–sometimes referred to as 'winter depression'–usually manifests more during the colder months, the main theory attributing this to lack of sunlight. But there is no surer way to find some peace (and perhaps even joy!) within this complicated season than to confront it head on. If you, like so many others, find yourself dreading the winter, it is time to do something about it–after all, winter does keep coming around... Once again, walking is the answer. Rather than hiding indoors and wishing time away, pull on your boots, hat and a good jacket and start exploring. Remember the wonderful Norwegian saying, 'There is no bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.' Continuing your walking in nature throughout the winter will get you out in the daylight, improve circulation, increase serotonin (that all-important feel-good hormone) and help to regulate sleep and appetite. There are plenty of new locations to discover or old favourites to revisit, winter wildlife to spot and all the fierce weather to enjoy as well as a fresh appreciation of this dramatic season to be gained... Be bold about spending time walking outdoors during winter; you may very well be surprised at the difference it makes to how you feel." — The Rambler's Handbook: A Seasonal Guide to the Best Walking Routes in Britain by The Ramblers' Association https://a.co/9NeGYZR

Clods

Bertrand Russell said "Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind." This splendid credo often reminded me of George Bernard Shaw's equally heroic encyclical: 'This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.' --Alistair Cooke, Six Men

fyi: TEXTS Fall 2021

Happiness: A Very Short Introduction... More Than Happiness: Buddhist and Stoic Wisdom for a Sceptical Age... Epicureanism: A Very Short Introduction... How to Live: Or A Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer... Sick Souls, Healthy Minds: How William James Can Save Your Life Also recommended: Enlightenment: The Pursuit of Happiness, 1680-1790... The Art of Happiness, by Epicurus... How to Be an Epicurean: The Ancient Art of Living Well... Stoicism: A Very Short Introduction... The Conquest of Happiness, by Bertrand Russell... William James, tba

Philosophy of (more) Happiness

PHIL 3160 – Philosophy of Happiness

Up@dawn 2.0

Saturday, March 18, 2023

I Love You, Now Leave Me Alone: What Friendship Means to an Introvert

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Thinketh again

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Schopenhauer, contentedly and un-willfully unhappy?

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