I found chapter one of conquest of happiness discussion on what makes people unhappy to be very interesting. Bertrand stated he wasn't born happy and that he eventually came to realize how the interest in oneself, never leads to activity of a progressive kind. Also that learning to have external interests and activities was the way to find true happiness. Even though pain and unhappiness can be found in external interests he believed that you could still have a good quality of life. For people who were overly self-absorbed he believed that external discipline was the only way to happiness. He went on to discuss the various forms of self-absorption ranging from the sinner, narcissist, and megalomanic. In the end he he stated the psychological causes of unhappiness are varied but what they all had in common were that the typical unhappy man was deprived in his youth of some normal satisfaction. And that have a one-sided direction in life that is overly focused on achievement as opposed to the activities connected to it.
Overall, I can't say that I agree with Bertrand completely on his thoughts but I do agree that self-absorption and being self-critical may definitely be a root cause of unhappiness. When I think about my own life personally some of the times I've been the happiest are when I've been focused on activities and doing something for someone else. The times I've been the most unhappy have been when I've been overly focused on myself and putting to much pressure on not achieving everything I've wanted to achieve or being where I think I should be.
That's my experience too: the unhappiest people I've known were constantly ruminating about themselves, their own disappointments and uncertainties, their personal anxieties etc. etc. The happiest were those who turned their attention outward, to others and to a diversified and growing tableau of what Russell calls "impersonal interests" and that I'd call pleasures, enthusiasms, and delights... the music of life, as it were.
ReplyDeleteBertrand Russell said "Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind."
DeleteThis splendid credo often reminded me of George Bernard Shaw's equally heroic encyclical: 'This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.'
--Alistair Cooke, Six Men
I also have to agree and say my own personal experience reflects that as well. The times I have been the most unhappy are when I recognize that I am dwelling on my own circumstances and focusing, negatively, inward. The times I have felt more happiness is when I am contributing to the lives of others in some way. Then, when I do reflect inwardly, I notice that the internalization tends to be more positive. I am also more likely to attend to my own personal needs in a more constructive manner. It becomes a cycle of wanting to prepare my mind in advance to better communicate,respond, and invest in the lives of others.
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