Happiness: Joy of Light in the Dark

 You, me, the young man who is sitting next to me, my friends, and everyone I see around myself: We all
 are unhappy. Why? Unhappiness is caused by accelerating technological advancements, the economic and political situation of the place that you live in, and the ‘nature and nurture’. Those were only a few causes of decline in the rate of happiness which has affected me personally. However, now the question remains to be answered, how can we be happy? Such a question might come up in your mind too. And it’s normal. The world in which we live is insane. Finding peace and happiness is tough. But after doing quite a bit of research on the question ‘How we can be happy?’, I may have come up with ways by which we can be happy. So, let’s dive right in (I don’t know how to swim though!!!).

     These are the darkest of times that humanity has ever witnessed. We live in the dystopia of mobile phones and social media, times when controversial politics and its effect on the economy influence the way we live, and times when innocent children are shot and killed in school shootings. In such dark times when the world is on a manic high, all we can do is remember to turn on the light. But HOW can we learn to turn on the light in such times? How can we be happy? The answer lies in one very important thing that we have forgotten in these times. Loving ourselves. Not in an egotistic manner like a lot of us do (Example: Donald J. Trump gracing himself with fifty hamburgers a day). But to love ourselves rather selflessly. 

       The fact is that happiness, joy, and peace will not be found when we look outside the world. Maybe to a certain extent, external things can make us happy. Happiness is important. The first step to happiness is to love. It is to love yourself selflessly and then love others. A lot of the readings I did on the idea of happiness revolved around the realm of selflessness. Marcus Aurelius, Buddha, Jesus-- all these figures were at the core selfless. But they loved themselves. And you will find true happiness only when you love yourself. However, when I asked people with whom I am close if they love themselves. I got solid NO from a lot of them. This shows a reason why we are unhappy. That is why self-love is the most important criterion to be happy. Berkeley Well-Being Institute puts that quite well in their blog: “The more positive self-views you have—or the more you love yourself—the higher your happiness is likely to be.” (Berkeley Well-Being Institute) 

     In this whirlpool-like age where we are trapped in comparison, trapped inside our mobile phones, we compare ourselves with the perfect life of our favourite celebrities. But knowing that attachment to such things is temporary, the notion of selfless self-love comes in. That’s what Buddha did. Buddha said, “To be happy is to be at peace, it is detachment from the worldly materialistic things” (In the Buddha’s Words). He knew that everything was temporary. His love for himself brought him to the conclusion that he is supposed to spend his life loving others. When asked by his disciple what made him happy, he replied, “Knowing that everything is impermanent. We begin to love ourselves and love everyone.” (In the Buddha’s Words)

     And that’s where the second criterion to be happy comes in. It is to accept that everything is temporary. According to Buddha, nothing is permanent. You, me, and no one’s going be here forever. Though this may sound morbid in a way, so did Buddha's beliefs. the only truth is that death is a destined part of our lives. We are all here to suffer and die. But don’t let this scare you. Because there is beauty in knowing that everything is temporary.

     Happiness is peace. Achieving peace has multiple facets that one must look through before reaching the centre. And just like selfless self-love is one side of its facet, the acceptance of impermanence of life is another. Think about the beauty of waking up today, being alive while knowing in the back of your mind that you could have been dead. You might not have woken up today. That’s the mindset you will have once you accept life’s impermanence. “Acquainted by the reality of life, you will always stay in peace,” said Buddha once (In the Buddha’s Words)

     One may feel hopeless after reading about such kinds of thinking. However, it does not mean that there is no meaning in your existence. Just like we discussed in the beginning, meaning is created by self-love, selfless self-love that dwelled in the heart of Buddha, that dwelled in the heart of Jesus. A self-love to be kind to everyone, to be compassionate, to spread love. The great Dalai Lama says that “Happiness is the by-product of love, compassion, and kindness” (The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living) And yes, that is true. To be happy is to be kind and loving. And taking pleasure in doing so. And once we know how to love ourselves, it is easy to love others. And that’s why self-love is important. And so specifically selflessness in loving yourself. Here once again Antonia Macaro writes on this notion in her book More than Happiness: “It's quite possible to be a good man without anyone realising it. Remember that. And this too: you don't need much to live happily” (More than Happiness). One does not need much to go through the day. A piece of bread thrice a day, a good night's sleep is enough. 

     However, our happiness is not only determined by the first two factors we discussed; rather they are only two of the many facets one must be acquainted with to achieve true happiness. But again, at the centre of all the facets, there is peace. And peace is the sum of all the facets. Being in love with yourself selflessly and accepting that your time is limited is in my opinion one of the most important ways to achieve happiness. Once we master these two it is easy for us to have wonderful relations with our parents, siblings, friends and most importantly, ourselves. And the notion of the impermanence of our existence must not scare us; rather it should let us be grateful that you are alive right now as you are reading this. Epicurus, the ancient Stoic philosopher, addresses this quite well in his famous quote, “When we exist, death is not; and when death exists, we are not.” (The Art of Happiness)

     To sum up this tiny piece on happiness, one must remember a quote from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations: “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Let’s manifest, ‘I am happy’.