“I happen to be alive, and there’s no cosmic law entitling me to that status.” These words were expressed by the writer David Cain after a shooting occurred at a place in Toronto he had recently visited. While there is truth to Cain’s words, many of us feel and live as if we are indeed entitled to that law, and it should be obeyed at all costs. In reality, time and the universe as we know it will neither slow nor wait for anyone; so we are left to cope with the finitude that defines human beings. I know, realizing that you may not be able to complete every single task you have ever set out to do is a tad depressing, but there can also be a certain freedom that realization brings. Once you realize you won’t complete every task you set out to do, you can begin to focus on the ones that really matter. For this blog post, I will focus mainly on Chapter 3, although my presentation covered Chapters 3-6.
To provide some context, I will briefly touch on the philosopher Martin Heidegger. After looking past the Nazi-card-bearding aspect of his personality, Heidegger provided some strange concepts, namely “de-severance” and “being-towards-death”. Although his work was at times difficult to read and even understand, he proposed a unique idea in Being and Time that most other philosophers had not: the fact that things exist.
What I mean by this is that while other philosophers were more focused on why or how things came to be, Heidegger was amazed by the fact that any of this, including us, simply exists. The very fact that we exist means that our existence is largely, if not completely, defined by time. Even if we choose to ignore time or try to master what little of it we have, we are already brought into this existence at the mercy of it. The fact that we also cannot predict certain events in our timeline brings about more anxiety; big decisions can change our lives and their trajectories, death is inevitable yet unpredictable, and there is almost always something “better” that we could be doing with our time.
While Heidegger’s concepts may seem jarring and pessimistic, he argues that accepting this finitude is the only way to live an authentic life. While an acceptance of this finitude may help some of us cope with our limited existence, others may find solace in the fact that “this is it”, and that their choices matter now and “forever” and should not be kept for a day that may never come.
You may have thought at some point, “Well, I sure do have limited time here as a human being, but what about others who believe in life after death and spiritual rebirth?” While we cannot confirm their true destination, Martin Hägglund proposes an idea that “if you really thought life would never end, then nothing could ever genuinely matter, because you’d never be faced with having to decide whether or not to use a portion of your precious life on something.” This may seem like a jab at those who are religious, but that is simply not the truth. Hägglund simply tries to put into perspective the idea of memories and their finitude as well. For if one were to visit the same place and the same people for eternity, would those people and places still hold the same value? Personally, I would want to believe in eternal life, but I can’t help but wonder if I would ever consciously be bored with living it. I’m sure, in a state of health and joy, that I wouldn’t notice it much. However, “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and being alive, I am able to testify to that. I have already experienced loss and will continue to until I lose myself. The memories I have shared with those whose time is up are all that remains, and I am happy that I was able to spend such fleeting moments with them.
Now, I can understand that a life of stumbling about what proper decisions to make can be quite a worrying one, but there can still be some positivity in it. Since we have established that it is quite amazing that we exist in the first place, these decisions are no longer daunting; they are exciting to make. Having opportunities like marrying a partner, buying a home, taking care of a pet, graduating from college, and getting a wonderful job can be nerve-wracking events. But through the perspective of “borrowed time”, if you will, then it is marvelous that they are within reach! I simply exist alongside my objectives, and I can achieve them!
Some of these decisions in this lifetime will require large portions of your time, meaning that they will effectively rule out other choices in the process. This could be referred to as settling, although I aim to portray it in a less negative light. Instead, think of it as a means of consistency and confident decision-making. For instance, if someone were to get married, they would be settling for their current partner instead of potentially finding many more partners, better or worse. This can actually lead to less worry about some of those time-consuming decisions, since now the choice has been made to spend the rest of their time with just one person. The same concept applies when considering a home; buying a house means you are settling in to live in an area for quite some time, rather than an apartment that you may vacate a year or two down the road. In many ways, settling may seem like a narrowing of choices, and that isn’t far from the truth. It can provide a sense of confidence and consistency among many different decisions that otherwise remain unanswered, and I personally crave some form of routine to keep me sane. After all, the “joy of missing out” certainly sounds like more fun than the “fear of missing out”.
All in all, it can be tough, even painful, to realize the finitude that faces us human beings. However, this finitude does not have to weigh us down throughout this life. Make good decisions, do what makes you happy and feels deserving of your time, and don’t be afraid to settle and make important decisions. After all, as Douglas Harding once said, “It’s the very last thing, isn’t it, we feel grateful for: having happened. You know, you needn’t have happened. You needn’t have happened. But you did happen.”
