Coming soon (Busy weekend: Lyceum, wedding... So go ahead and suggest your own questions in the comments space below).
UPDATE, late Monday: Still waiting for your questions...
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- Can you tell us the life issues that have faced you before age 50 (or 25) that may not seem so important when you are older? How will you try to master these issues?
- Do you know anyone whose childhood resembled Wes's (violently abusive & philandering alcoholic dad who abandoned the family)? 55 How'd they cope? Did they also have difficulty making plans and envisioning a positive future?
- How much unhappiness do you imagine is due to the feeling of being alone, of suffering unique adversity not shared by others? How much to the false perception of being "an unchanging rock" etc.? 56
- Do you regularly reflect on (and appreciate) what you have? Does that help clarify what you want from life? 57
- Have you looked at a photo of yourself at a much earlier age? "What were you thinking about back then" etc.? "What do you regret?" --Okay, me first this time.*
- What (st)age of life are you presently occupying (whether in Shakespeare's terminology or your own)? Do you look forward to the coming stages? 59
- Have you begun to establish a sense of generativity and concern for the next generation(s)? Must it await "midlife"? 60, 75
- Are you (will you be, when the time comes) ready to become a parent? 61 Or are you an anti-natalist?
- How much should you try to be like somebody you respect? 63
- Have you learned Mark Twain's lesson about your parents yet? 64
- Do you know anyone who joined the military as a way out of adolescence or into friendships? 66 Did it work? 66
- How long do you think it should take to figure out who you are? Or to make a solid commitment to another person? 70
- Do you see the beauty in the possibilities, the time, and the choices ahead of you? Or are you just stressed about them? 68
- Have you pursued different activities just to see if they interest you? Have you found friends and a community that way? 70
- Do you know any NiNi's, NEETs, or hihikimoris? 71 Or InCels? Should we be concerned about so many young people "failing to launch" up into their 30s?
- Is any specific time of life the "prime of life"? 74 Do the questions in the last paragraph of this page remind you (as they do me) of that Talking Heads song...?
- How will you avoid having the regrets enumerated on p.76?
- Do you think much about the future (yours on humanity's)? 78 Do you agree with WJ about our "really vital question: what is this world going to become, what is life going to make of itself?"
- Shouldn't we all cultivate a sense of limited time at every age? 80
- Do you welcome chaos and its demand for improvisation in your life? 83
- On that 1-7 scale, how would you rate your relationship with your parents and siblings?
- How often do you feel lonely?84 How often do you experience a pleasant solitude? Was Blaise Pascal right (“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”)? Are you surprised at the toll loneliness takes on mortality? 93
- Why do so many men in our society have "a hard time expressing [their] feelings"? 86
- Do you "make a conscious effort to move"? 88 Does "social fitness" require the same kind of intent?
- Is it wrong to "use optimism to push away" fear? 91
- If we've evolved to be social and in need of love, connection, and belonging, might social media paradoxically produce a counter-evolutionary push towards social isolation? 94
- How do you feel about the prospect of spending decades of your life interacting with media? 96
- COMMENT on the "powerful yet simple message" about interpersonal contact. 97
- How many of your significant relationships would you describe as energizing and depleting, respectively? Why do you persist in the latter? 100
- Do you know anyone who makes you feel the way teenage Sterling made his sister feel? 103
- How do you answer any of the questions on 104-107?
- Is Behavioral Science a reputable field? 108 (see yesterday's NYT story...)
- Is the Dalai Lama right about wise selfishness and generosity? 110
- Are you curious about others' experience? 113
*
Proud big brother, thinking I was happy not to be an "only child" anymore...
L: Probably looking for my next hit of baby formula... Bewildered, trying not to displease the adults...
About to be an ex-bachelor... happy but also (still) bewildered...
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Alternate questions (forgot I'd already posted some... so these are bonus):
- Wes had a hard time with what? 55 Do you?
- What do people find startling about photos of themselves at a younger age? Do you? Pull out an old pic and answer some of the questions on 58.
- What stage of life do you think you are in? 59 What was Shakespeare saying about old(er) age?
- Have you answered the "central" question on p. 63 to your own satisfaction, at least tentatively? Care to share?
- Is youth wasted on the young? Are young people over-stressed and under-appreciative of their possibilities? 68
- What are the NiNi's and hikiko-mori? 71 Do they have an analogue in US culture?
- What's your perception/expectation of "the middle years"? What's the most important task of midlife? 74-5 (But why wait?)
- What's a "very basic truth about aging"? 78 What do we have to learn to balance? 80
- What are your answers to the questions on 84?
- Do you prioritize your physical and social fitness? 88 How?
- Have you encountered or experienced the loneliness epidemic? 93 How do you think it can best be addressed? How often do you think you need to see your friends, to alleviate loneliness? 96
- Do you have energizing and depleting relationships? 100 In what ratio?
- What's your answer to any of the questions on pp.104-7?
- Are you "genuinely interested in other people"? 115 Why or why not?
Do you have energizing and depleting relationships? 100 In what ratio?
ReplyDeleteI have both. I think I have more energizing relationships than depleting, but the depleting relationships I participate in get support from me. They need it and it makes me feel better to help someone feel better. I would say for every 5 relationships that energize me, I have 1 that depletes me. I'm lucky in that way.
I loved the book's emphasis on relationships. I think they are right that relationships are the core of a good life, regardless of others factors. However, I do appreciate that they point out that staying in a relationship for the kids is actually more taxing for everyone involved. Can you all think of any other relationships that are worth dropping instead of staying in?
ReplyDeleteAre you "genuinely interested in other people"? 115 Why or why not?
ReplyDeleteI am very genuinely interested in other people. I have come to understand myself through understanding other people. Other people are so fascinating. I'm particularly fascinated in understanding how other people come to their moral conclusions.
1. Wes had a hard time seeing beyond his current experience. I sometimes do have a hard time seeing past my current situation. This usually only happens when I'm extremely stressed out, and instead of trying to make myself feel better, I do the complete opposite and think of a bleak future.
ReplyDelete2. I would say that I'm genuinely interested in people mainly because I'm a very curious person. I would think wanting to know about other people is something everyone is interested in.
3. If I need help solving a practical problem, I always turn to my parents first. They usually know their answer because it's something they've done before.