You have enough questions to think about this week. Today I'll just add:
"living on small sarcasms"
Is "living on small sarcasms" descriptive of the current generation of students? Or maybe of every generation? Is there a general fear of being perceived as too serious or solemn?
"Confronting what he considered reactionary arguments that shortening the college’s course would “lower the standard of its degree” and lead to “a general degradation of the higher education in America,” James argued the opposite case, that speeding up college was a way to combat the “listlessness, apathy, dawdling, sauntering, the smoking of cigarettes and living on small sarcasms, the ‘Harvard indifference,’ in short, of which outsiders have so frequently complained.” James thought this apathetic attitude was “the direct fruit of keeping these men too long from contact with the world of affairs.”"
"William James: In the Maelstrom of American Modernism" by Robert D. Richardson: https://a.co/77ZUk1p
Family guy
Hope they'll say about me what Linda said about her dad Neal…
"It's not only older generations whose memories are valuable. If you have siblings, their memories of growing up can enrich your own. If your kids are grown, asking them what they remember about their childhood can give you a new perspective on them and on your own experiences as a parent. Shared memories deepen connections.
The Harvard Study, in a way, is a massive experiment in this kind of family inquiry. When we open up an individual file and get that nostalgic feeling of looking through a family photo album, we do it in the spirit of investigation. But you don't need grant funding and the support of an academic institution to mine the treasures that are there in your own family. It takes only curiosity and time. You might find some surprises, good and bad, that enrich your understanding of your family.
Neal McCarthy's kids took advantage of his memory in this way, and had several conversations with their father about his early life. He didn't tell them everything—not as much, it seems, as he told the Harvard Study—but he told them enough for them to know that he'd had both some great times and some incredibly hard times.
In the end, the most important thing was something they saw firsthand: when he formed a family of his own, he didn't run from challenges, he didn't perpetuate the things that made his childhood hard, and he gave his family the gift of his steady presence. Even if he made mistakes, he didn't turn away from them. He was there. When asked what advice she would give to the future generation, his daughter Linda gave an answer inspired by her father, telling the Study, "I'd just say never forget what this life is truly about. It's not about how much money you make. That's what I learned from my dad. It's about the person he was to me, to my child, my sisters and my brother, his seven grandchildren. If I can be half that I'll be all right.""
— The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert J. Waldinger, Marc Schulz Ph.D
Open Your Eyes
"We are the lucky ones…" —Richard Dawkins https://youtu.be/58HlO3eQQpc?si=6jir0ULgm3UFZ3Ly
“We need to fight isolation”
"…I read Anne Frank's diary when I was in high school in Minnesota and I still remember being stunned by 'In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.'
But then I have to google it to get what followed it: "I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again."
It still moves me, that a 15-year-old girl locked with her family in an attic in Amsterdam could write such a thing.
Here in America we're locked in our own attics of social media, isolation, working from home, driving the freeways. "People are good at heart" is the basis of civil democracy; it's what allows us to speak decently to those who disagree with us. And we feel this goodness when we walk down the street or go to a ball game or a Taylor Swift concert. We need to fight isolation with festivals, parades, public events, door-to-door campaigning..." Garrison Keillor
https://open.substack.com/pub/garrisonkeillor/p/what-endures-is-decency-believe-me?r=35ogp&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
- What did Madeleine L'Engle say it is to be alive? Do you agree? Can you illustrate with personal examples?
- What % of households lately have no married inhabitants? And why do you think that is? 166
- What is "ballroom culture," and what is its name for a "social sanctuary" for those who've been rejected by their families of origin? Why do we have so many dysfunctional and non-supportive families in this country? Again, sharing personal examples can be therapeutic and insightful. 202
- What are some powerful ways to connect with our immediate families? Have you had any firsthand experience with any? 220
"living on small sarcasms"
Is "living on small sarcasms" descriptive of the current generation of students? Or maybe of every generation? Is there a general fear of being perceived as too serious or solemn?
"Confronting what he considered reactionary arguments that shortening the college’s course would “lower the standard of its degree” and lead to “a general degradation of the higher education in America,” James argued the opposite case, that speeding up college was a way to combat the “listlessness, apathy, dawdling, sauntering, the smoking of cigarettes and living on small sarcasms, the ‘Harvard indifference,’ in short, of which outsiders have so frequently complained.” James thought this apathetic attitude was “the direct fruit of keeping these men too long from contact with the world of affairs.”"
"William James: In the Maelstrom of American Modernism" by Robert D. Richardson: https://a.co/77ZUk1p
Family guy
Hope they'll say about me what Linda said about her dad Neal…
"It's not only older generations whose memories are valuable. If you have siblings, their memories of growing up can enrich your own. If your kids are grown, asking them what they remember about their childhood can give you a new perspective on them and on your own experiences as a parent. Shared memories deepen connections.
The Harvard Study, in a way, is a massive experiment in this kind of family inquiry. When we open up an individual file and get that nostalgic feeling of looking through a family photo album, we do it in the spirit of investigation. But you don't need grant funding and the support of an academic institution to mine the treasures that are there in your own family. It takes only curiosity and time. You might find some surprises, good and bad, that enrich your understanding of your family.
Neal McCarthy's kids took advantage of his memory in this way, and had several conversations with their father about his early life. He didn't tell them everything—not as much, it seems, as he told the Harvard Study—but he told them enough for them to know that he'd had both some great times and some incredibly hard times.
In the end, the most important thing was something they saw firsthand: when he formed a family of his own, he didn't run from challenges, he didn't perpetuate the things that made his childhood hard, and he gave his family the gift of his steady presence. Even if he made mistakes, he didn't turn away from them. He was there. When asked what advice she would give to the future generation, his daughter Linda gave an answer inspired by her father, telling the Study, "I'd just say never forget what this life is truly about. It's not about how much money you make. That's what I learned from my dad. It's about the person he was to me, to my child, my sisters and my brother, his seven grandchildren. If I can be half that I'll be all right.""
— The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert J. Waldinger, Marc Schulz Ph.D
Open Your Eyes
"We are the lucky ones…" —Richard Dawkins https://youtu.be/58HlO3eQQpc?si=6jir0ULgm3UFZ3Ly
“We need to fight isolation”
"…I read Anne Frank's diary when I was in high school in Minnesota and I still remember being stunned by 'In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.'
But then I have to google it to get what followed it: "I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again."
It still moves me, that a 15-year-old girl locked with her family in an attic in Amsterdam could write such a thing.
Here in America we're locked in our own attics of social media, isolation, working from home, driving the freeways. "People are good at heart" is the basis of civil democracy; it's what allows us to speak decently to those who disagree with us. And we feel this goodness when we walk down the street or go to a ball game or a Taylor Swift concert. We need to fight isolation with festivals, parades, public events, door-to-door campaigning..." Garrison Keillor
https://open.substack.com/pub/garrisonkeillor/p/what-endures-is-decency-believe-me?r=35ogp&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
I love the idea of fighting isolation. It is much more destructive to society than it appears on the surface. People who are emotionally isolated for their whole life may fail to develop empathy. Most mass shooters led painfully lonely existences. Politically, Hannah Arendt theorized that mass isolation plays a strong role in a populations decision to elect fascist leaders. Fighting isolation might play a vital role in protecting a democratic system's resilience.
ReplyDeleteI love Richard Dawkin's perspective of life on Earth. His use of the word priveledged to describe our existence is spot on. His story about the space ship landing on Earth might not be too far off. One theory is that the building blocks of life arrived here on an asteroid.
ReplyDeleteThat is 51% of all households do not consist of married couples compared to about 20% in the 1950s. ....
ReplyDelete"Ballroom culture," mainly in urban areas are LGBTQ+ members, most black and latinos that join groups known as "houses" that organize their lives around each other, supporting and competing together in drag competitions. They provide much needed family the book expressed, by having a house "mother" and a "father." The house does not actually represent a house such as a building but more of the community of enduring social sanctuaries.
ReplyDelete