PHIL 3160 – Philosophy of Happiness
What is it, how can we best pursue it, why should we? Supporting the study of these and related questions at Middle Tennessee State University and beyond. "Examining the concept of human happiness and its application in everyday living as discussed since antiquity by philosophers, psychologists, writers, spiritual leaders, and contributors to pop culture."
How greatly did the social isolation from COVID affect your ability to create relationships with others (since we all emerged into college either right before, or right after COVID started)?
ReplyDeleteAttending high school in a pre-k through twelfth grade school made me anxious to get out and explore what other friendships I could have. Everyone had already known each other since they were young, or otherwise connected through churches that various groups attended (as this was a Christian school).
I know for me personally, I had created a great community of friends through the school I was attending in Southern California and felt that COVID had ripped away all the progress I made. It is interesting to see how essential these interactions are and especially as a young person who wants to create memories in the social sphere, it was difficult to go back to square 1, especially moving down to Tennessee mid-quarantine.
Our younger daughter was midway through her college career when the pandemic started, we saw firsthand how socially disruptive it was for her. As our chapter says, life is a series of improvisations in the face of blindside hits. Add resilience to the list of essential happiness traits.
DeleteI also experienced the "back to square 1" sort of sensation, though I couldn't imagine having moved acorss the country as well.
DeleteI was never all that social in highschool, though I did have one close friend whom I spent most of my time with. She was a social butterfly, thus I gained many people to spend time with through her. When covid hit and ended my senior year early, I very quickly realized that I wasn't missing everyone's company, aside from my close friend. That summer I spent entirely isolated, thrilled that every decision I made from what I decided to wear, to what my new hobbies and interests were, were mine. They were not dictated by what my social circle may have thought, nor was my behavior a reflection of what I assume they'd expect. It was after achieving this level of self-satisfation that it began to keep me from forming new, more genuine and satisfying relationships. Everyone became a threat to that state of contentment and security, and my social anxiety skyrocketed. Part of me wanted to continue to believe that it was the outside world's doing that kept me isolated, but it was my own desire to never have my newfound sense of self and security to be distrurbed that had twisted into something detrimental to my health physically, mentally and emotionally. It's been over three years now since, and I am happy to say that I have formed a couple relationships during my time in college that I plan to foster for as long as they'll allow me, and my friend from highschool and I are still the best of friends. That relationship in particular has been supremely rewarding to see further develop as we both grow older.
I moved to Nashville about sixx months before the pandemic started. So here I was in a new city, with very few friends and a very limited ability to go out and make new friends. It was a very difficult period for me. Luckily I moved here with my fiance, and our relationship was able to pull me through that period, along with our wonderful dog. All of my other friends were 6+ hours away!
DeleteAmidst all this discussion about what we would or should do different to cultivate a sense of true contentment, what is something you do now that always brings you a bit of peace and fulfillment that you hope you'll always carry with you?
ReplyDeleteMy father first instilled in me a love for "porch" talks, though they happen wherever your metaphorical porch can live. When I lived with my father, we'd spend hours in the garage at the end of the night tracing through our days, our desires, fond memories, excited plans, the work to take care of tomorrow, profound discussions about a world we knew we'd never truly understand. Living with my sister at our apartment, our "porch" is the kitchen island. With one of my classmates, we have our best discussions walking back to our cars after our 6-9PM class. It's. less a conversation qualified by location, but an unspoken understanding that these talks are progressing the self in some way, even if you don't notice it then.
Which stage of your life do you consider yourself to be in now?
ReplyDeleteI find it difficult to see myself ever separating from the adolesent stage, though working on some of the concerns outlined by the young adult phase, I don't think I'll ever escape those questions about who I want to be and what I should expect from the world. Everytime I feel like I'm moving closer to an answer, I feel ignorant for assuming I'm on the path to some explicit solution. Realizing during the pandemic that I fall somewhere on the queer spectrum, I also still find myself fumbling with questions about intimacy. I think I'll always be a foolish teen at heart, though one with benevolent, whimsical intent.
I think I am in a discovery/transitionary stage of life. I am truly discovering the kind of person I want to become and where I want to spend my time and energy in life. I had the random realization the other day that I AM getting older, even if I am not particularly ready. Adult life is coming fast, and I need to be prepared for it whether I want to be or not. I am loving life right now though. It is fun, exciting, and thrilling to be in college and learning about yourself as a human.
DeleteThis isn’t so much a question as it is an action prompt, and I want to talk about this in person when we meet today, but I was wondering if y’all have anybody on the older side in your life that you are close to (parents, grandparents mentors, etc.) that you think would benefit from the questions asked mostly in chapter 4. How do you think they would benefit? Do you think they could learn as much from it as you could from doing it for yourself (because of the age difference)?
ReplyDeleteI think my grandmother would enjoy this exercise, because she enjoys doing anything with me, but I’m not sure she would gain as much from the exercises as I could. I don’t really think she would grasp the significance. To her, happiness is looking back on fond memories, not so much focus is put on the here and now for her. And that’s perfectly okay! I just think it is interesting to think about.
How intrinsic/extrinsic do you think happiness is?
ReplyDeleteIn this book, we have been learning how to attain happiness externally, specifically in chapters 3 and 4, through relationships. But I want to know if you guys think that’s all there is too it, that happiness is a cool shiny button we find while on a walk, ours to keep if we choose, but fundamentally separated from who we are as a person.
This is not to say I think the book is trying to tell us one thing or another. I think the book gives us scientifically based suggestions on how to improve our lives on the happiness front, and that is helpful, but I’m curious about the more relative conclusions y’all draw from it.
Me personally, I think that like many things we’ve discussed in this class, it is based on who you ask. Someone might find all the happiness they need from within themselves, even in a “happiness sterile” environment. However, some people need all their happiness to come from the outside world due to trauma or self hatred or whatever else going on in their lives (I wouldn’t recommend this, as there is great potential for substance abuse from this stance, but that doesn’t really matter right now). For me, I think there is a healthy balance in the in between. I rely on my internal compass to find happiness, I experience it, and then I either choose to accept it or reject it. Maybe in mathematical terms, 65% of happiness comes from within me, and 35% comes from my environment. This isn’t always hard and fast, but it does satiate my lust for equations.
Waldinger provides a quote by Wes Travers which states "I wonder what my life would have been like if he'd stuck around...". Do you ever find yourself wondering what your life would be like if a certain person were there? Happier? Sadder? Somewhere in the middle?
ReplyDeleteI find myself thinking of my grandfather a lot when I think of someone, I wish was in my life more. He unfortunately passed away last year, and I just wish I had a little more time with him. Obviously, this is very different to Wes, for my grandfather died he did not leave like Wes's father. However, I feel the sentiment of wanting or being curious about your life if someone was there who isn't now, still remains. Thinking of this normally makes me sad, but I consciously force myself to think of the time I did have with my grandfather, and all the great memories we had. I have noticed that this is becoming my first thought of my grandfather now, the happy parts. I hope the same happen for any of you missing someone!