- “The waiting is the hardest part.” —Tom Petty
But I’ll wait…Actually, you have enough questions to think about this week. Today I'll just add: What did Madeleine L'Engle say it is to be alive? Do you agree? Can you illustrate with personal examples?- What % of households lately have no married inhabitants? And why do you think that is? 166
- What is "ballroom culture," and what is its name for a "social sanctuary" for those who've been rejected by their families of origin? Why do we have so many dysfunctional and non-supportive families in this country? Again, sharing personal examples can be therapeutic and insightful. 202
- What are some powerful ways to connect with our immediate families? Have you had any firsthand experience with any? 220
Remember, the AUDIO REVIEW is linked under "How to prepare for an exam" below.
"... but the effect was so pronounced for intimate partners... that it lead Coan to conclude that holding a loved ones hand during a medical procedure had the same effect as a mild anesthetic" (Waldinger 168). *This page number comes from the online version provided by Flynn*
ReplyDeleteI found this entire passage about love being almost an equivalent to a drug very interesting, and I guess my question is what do you all think about this? Do you feel that love is a strong enough emotion to replace certain drugs?
When I read this study I was bewildered! I have always felt that love is such a strange and interesting emotion. It sounds cliche, but love is something like no other. I know personally, the love I have for my friends and family has no other emotion that can rival it. It is the foundation of the strongest bonds in my life. Whenever I am around my family I do find myself feeling better mentally and emotionally. I find I have more motivation, more determination, and overall more happiness in my life when I am around those that I know love me. While the result of this study caught me off guard (in a good way) it makes complete sense. I feel we need to find ways to promote healthy love and loving conditions in a better way around the world. I definitely feel that certain degrees of love could replace some drugs or medicine and promote healthier lives.
I was also surprised at the explicit demonstration of love's effect on the individuals' both fear and pain responses, the abstract condition affecting the body in a psychological and physical way. I predict that there is far more for us to learn about the physiological components of the human experience; aside from love, I imagine that different emotions and statuses could be affecting the body and mind in various ways, and we just haven't though to explore these certain avenues or haven't figured out a method of doing so in a measurable manner yet.
DeleteAlso consider the James-Lange Theory... "emotions are feelings constituted by perceptions of changes in physiological conditions relating to the autonomic and motor functions. When we perceive that we are in danger, for example, this perception directly sets off a collection of bodily responses, and our awareness of these responses is what constitutes fear. James thus maintained that “our feeling of [bodily] changes as they occur IS the emotion” (James 1884: 189–190, emphasis in original)."
Deletehttps://plato.stanford.edu/entries/emotion/#:~:text=James'%20proposal%2C%20often%20labeled%20as,the%20autonomic%20and%20motor%20functions.
"...James stated that common sense is wrong about the direction of causation concerning emotions and bodily changes: a more appropriate statement is that
Deletewe feel sorry because we cry, angry because we strike, afraid because we tremble, and not that we cry, strike, or tremble, because we are sorry, angry, or fearful. (James 1884: 190)
The counterintuitive implication that emotions do not cause their manifestations but rather emerge from them..."
Definitely an addictive, psychoactive, drug-like condition. The family variety is usually mind- and mood-expanding, good for heart and head. Some other varieties, as Robert Palmer observed, can be problematic...
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcATvu5f9vE
Do you think Plato’s analogy for love in another half is true for you?
ReplyDeleteThis is not true for me, no. I have always felt like a complete person. Sure, I enjoy the company of others, and often seek it out, but this does not mean I need it to be myself. I seek out relationships with others because I want to, not because I need to. This doesn’t mean I don’t think others have an effect on my life; in fact, this morning, I had a very eye opening discussion in my Politics class about gerrymandering that I would have never known about had I not talked with my professor. Others better my life, but they do not complete it. Only I can do that for myself.
But... after spending decades with a partner, it's hard to think of oneself as whole and complete without them (and the whole family, in fact).
DeleteOn page 204, the book talks about psychological inheritances. Do you have any that still impact you today?
ReplyDeleteI have inherited from my mother a blessing and a curse, of which she received from her mother. All of us seem to care just a little too much, but not in the way the person we care about wants. We see a problem, and we try to fix it, without meeting the person with the problem where they are. We want to make things right, easy, comfortable, for those we care about, because that is how we wish we could feel ourselves. But in the process, we end up trampling on the less obvious emotional needs of those we are trying to help. We care, we just don’t always show it in the right way. It’s something I’m working on to this day.
I just wanted to make a comment on Ballroom culture as I find it incredibly interesting and inspiring. Being thrown out of one's house and having to navigate the streets is something I've fortunately never had to experience, and I can only imagine the extreme fear that comes with the lack of security and safety. To open up ones own place for others as a collective safe place for those who are struggling is admirable. It's important to realize that those who start houses were once in the same position as their children staying within the house, and they then serve as almost a parental figure to those who don't have one anymore (which is why the term house mother and children are so heavily used within the community.)
ReplyDelete